I fell in love within 7 minutes of landing in Copenhagen— a presumably Danish woman I never bothered speaking to. I actually fall in love a lot when traveling, it usually involves passing a stranger and spending a few moments wondering what could have been. It never lasts long but the infatuation is very real.
The second time I fell in love in Copenhagen wasn’t with a woman I’d never see again, but with a word. A Danish word that almost won word of the year in 2016. That word is Hygge (pronounced hoo·guh). It means a lot of things, but mostly Hygge is coziness and happiness. Unfortunately for us English speakers the limits of our language are also limiting our well-being; there is no direct English translation.
Denmark is in the top 2 happiest countries in the world— it had been first for a while. It’s hard to say for sure why their subjective well-being seems higher than 99% world. Of course, there’s a lot to be said for the socialist values of the country and support from the state in almost all areas of life— they get paid to go to university! But, there is also a lot of say about the mass adoption of the Hygge philosophy, and its benefits to collective well-being.
My first Hygge
After a quick visit to Freetown, Christiana— a place where you can apparently buy two hash joints for 100 kroner— I went out with my old friend who lives in Copenhagen to a bar. This is rare for me; I very rarely drink and I can’t stand staying up late.
It was sitting under the heaters, surrounded by candles (the most important factor), two good friends who provided wholesome conversations, blankets, and 3 half-pints of a danish Pilsner I first experienced hygge.
At 11.30 pm, high on Hygge (not hash) I got back to the Air BnB and started to read a book by Barbara Hayden called Hygge: Unlock the Danish art of Coziness and Happiness. Within the first few pages she defines hygge as follows: ‘Hygge continually emphasizes the spirit of togetherness, fostering relationships with family and friends, and nurturing yourself through self-care.’
How to Hygge
Seeing as the Danish are happier than those of us in the UK, I thought I’d share some suggestions on how to get hygge into your own life. I quizzed my friend on the cultural differences between the UK and Denmark and read Barbara Hayden’s book on Hygge to make sure my findings were legit. Whilst I’ll admit that aiming to be happier is not wise, happiness seems to be a welcome byproduct of hygge; it would be foolish to ignore it.
Candles
Denmark has extreme seasons and is subject to late sunrises and early sunsets in winter. In the depths of the cold winter months, when the sun shines for only 7 hours a day, they create a sense of psychological warmth with simple and cheap candles.
Having a fireplace is a bonus, but my friend doesn’t have one and just used the Fireplace channel on Netflix— which didn’t actually feel too artificial. Those of you without fireplaces or Netflix can find 10hr+ videos of fireplaces on YouTube.
Adjusting the lighting in your house in the evenings from strong overhead lighting to candles can positively impact the quality of your sleep. Matthew Walker, in his book Why We Sleep, says that bright lights in the evening can seriously impact your circadian rhythm, leading to lower quality sleep.
So even if you can’t bring yourself to get romantic with the candles for the sake of psychological warmth— something some will scoff at— do it for the sake of your sleep quality.
Community
At the start and end of every summer, my friend’s block of flats all meet up and work together on making the garden hygge. Then, as a community, have a barbeque or a few drinks. Something I couldn’t ever see happening in my apartment block in London.
You can read Lost Connections by Johann Hari for a deeper understanding of the human desire to be part of a community and its impact on well-being, but you can also trust me— if you want to— that the literature I’ve come across all points in one direction: that people have an inherent desire to belong and be part of something greater than themselves (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).
For the introverted of you— who are friends of mine— the idea of community doesn’t have to mean your neighbours. Hygge lifestyle is about nurturing your current relationships with friends, family, and work colleagues.
Quality time = deeper connections = better connections = better well-being
Simplicity
The average brit sees about 5000 ads per day, but obnoxious displays of capitalism, advertising, and faux-individualism don’t seem as rife in Copenhagen as they do in the UK. Sure, there are Tesla’s flying about and a few shops selling useless tat for large profits, but I noticed more independent and local stores than I see in the UK. Apparently, something to do with their rather attitude toward minimalism.
This could be because the government imposes restrictions on large companies. So, whilst you don’t get the joy of UBER, you do get the joy of a community that supports local businesses— who don’t lose out to large corporations or the gig economy. But it could also be tied in with hygge.
Our very Western lack of simplicity could be causing some damage. The psychologist Barry Schwartz argues in his TedTalk that too much choice is damaging our well-being, and introduces us to the idea of choice paralysis. Choice paralysis occurs when we have to select from options that are difficult to compare— examples can be found within your local supermarket.
Restrictions on choice sound totalitarian to most. Because an infringement on your human-right to choose between 100 different types of salad-dressing sounds really Nazi doesn’t it…? No, by the waym no it doesn’t. It’s just a way to keep yourself from being over-stimulated, which is rarely a bad thing.
The Hygge home
A hygge home is about more than just candles. The interior design of your home is meant to instill feelings of coziness and warmth, as well as being inviting to guests.
So that means; blankets, simple colours (beige, grey and whatever colour wood is), a light natural fragrance (essential oils and the like), and background music that stays in the background (think: Jazz, Classical, and Instrumentals)
When I returned from my trip I re-arranged my room, took down some prints and LED light strips, and brought in some house plants and candles. I have to admit it feels quite hygge.
These are just a few of the ways in which Hygge can present itself, the real philosophy of hygge has cemented itself in culture across Scandinavia in a myriad of ways.
If you want to find out more, Hygge by Barbara Hayden— or my podcast on the book— is a good place to start. It isn’t very long, and you can get it for free on Kindle Unlimited if you’re a part of Team Kindle.
Or, The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking, looks to be a longer, more detailed, and more popular introduction to Hygee.
Whatever you decide, might I suggest turning your phone off this evening, lighting some candles, settling down with a book, and getting hygge?
Love you, bye.
Ed xx
On the podcast
I had a chat with my friends Daisy and Harriet for Episode 163, which came out earlier in the week. We covered an interview I had for love island (I’m pleased to say I didn’t approach them, it was curiosity that forced me to say yes), Alain de Botton’s books and why everyone should read them, a new writing project I’m undertaking, and the art of relationship meetings.
The latest episode is all about my new favourite word.
P.s. I’d love to hear from you. So please feel free to comment and start the conversation.
Loved this Ed!
There’s definitely a lot for us in the UK to take from Danish and Scandinavian culture as a whole.
Thanks for introducing the concept of Hygge. It encompasses a lot of what we lack in UK culture. My apartment block is the same - most people are quiet and keep them self to themselves.
Do you plan to continue with the Hygge philosophy in your flat?
I loved this Ed! You nailed it on the head here.
I discovered Hygge a few years ago, I actually came across the Hygge book by Meik W. and the whole concept resonated with me so much.
I live in Canada and we also don't practice anything close to Hygge. I've spent a lot of time in England, I am actually planning on moving there this summer for good (yaay!), but I'd almost venture to say our lack of Hygge'ness is even less here then the UK. We are so focused on work and spending money and status that we've become incredibly out of touch with our bodies and the world around us and what it is we actually want out of our lives... It's actually wild and so sad.
The idea of Hygge really brings being present in life and what's important into perspective and I think we could all benefit from this type of connection - as Johann Hari put it so well in his book (which I also love and think every single human should read!).
I think your post will inspire people to try to incorporate more Hygge into their daily lives which will hopefully bring about some positive changes and overall awareness on how far we've strayed.
Love you, bye!